Viva la Volition!!!

Huge and often shelved version of Websters defines volition as “The act of willing; exercise of the will”. The same volume describes free will as “The power of self determination; the capacity to choose freely between alternatives”. This has noting to do with the fear response I had to the chipmunk of prior days I swear.

What does this mean? Why am I yet again rambling? Yesterday while listening to Rage Against the Machine while in traffic, which I recommend never you do, in front of me a car did that whole I am not going to do my time in this long line but instead jump toward the front thing. Let me preface by saying that I understand there are times when this is necessary do to unfamiliarity, forgetfulness and sometimes just bad timing. Few things irk me more than drivers who fail to plan or plan to jump the damn line I have been spending fifteen minutes with the bumper to bumper so close one think a condom might be necessary.

This situation is external to me and the only damn part I can control is my reaction. Wishing for telekinesis fails to produce result. My back unknown to be had been tensing in my seat. Line jumping not cool; me reacting in this way equally uncool. Turned off the radio. Deep breath. Quit wishing ill will.

Yesterday compressed a series of events outside of my control before 7p like some ultimate showdown. Me against ME!! AGHH. Adulthood intruding further into my brain like some worm. Don’t reach the fun parts, don’t reach the fun parts!

Accepting that more external events are outside of my control and I need to stop looking to alter them but focus on modifying my reaction to deal with the situation will make for a less stressful life. Most of my twenties now make sense.

I, nikita, promise to leave the Rage Against the Machine for when I am cleaning house. To focus my rebellion more against myself than the system. So that I might pursue a life as free of external constraints as much as possible. Stress constrains and is mostly my reaction to the external. Another example of how I can rob myself of my freedom with greater ease than anyone else can. I vow to stop this thief.

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